ADVICE I GAVE MY 43 YEAR OLD SISTER WHEN SHE ASKED ME HOW TO FIT IN WHEN SHE GOES BACK TO COLLEGE
She thinks I'm an expert?
- •Don't wear real clothes.The best way to stick out like a sore thumb is to wear jeans and a blouse. Stick to yoga pants and a hoodie, and no one will bat an eye.
- •Always be chugging StarbucksIf you're not holding a venti cup, what even are your hands doing?
- •Don't talk to anyone, just look at your phone.Don't.
- •HeadphonesNever be aware that someone is trying to say "excuse me" and get by your slow-walking self.
- •The library is for socializing.Just catch up with that dude from your one class two semesters ago.
- •Change your name to Emily.V important.
- •Don't take notes, just record the lecture.And do what with these recordings? That's probably a whole other list.
- •Bring your meals to class.It probably came from Starbucks anyway? Make sure it's something noisy so you can relive it while you do whatever with those lecture recordings.
- •Talk loudly on the phone with your doctors office about refilling your prescriptions.This is the only actual phone conversation you're allowed to have anymore, sorry.