CURE-ALLS, ACCORDING TO THE INTERNET

I'm not suggesting you do any of these things, but the internet sure as heck does.
  1. Work your gluteus medius
    Any joint pain you experience is evidently a result of your weak-as-shit hips. It's like this-- if your hips are off, that throws the whole machine out of balance. Do your knees hurt (actually there are scientific papers covering this one), do you feel strain on your shoulders? You've been ignoring your gluteus medius, my friend (don't worry, you're not alone).
  2. Apple cider vinegar
    ACV, as the kids are calling it, smells like death. That doesn't mean it can't be a killer deodorizer. Use it to replace your actual deodorant? It will get rid of your dandruff, your acne, and your warts. It soothes sunburn, poison ivy, and stomach aches. ACV adds zing to all of your food, and improves your lymph circulation while doing so. It cleanses your kidneys? It lowers your cholesterol? Basically touted as a super hero.
  3. Coconut oil
    Go ahead and get rid of all of your beauty products. It might be easier to make a list of things it WON'T replace, but here I go. Use coconut oil as your lotion, makeup remover, deodorant, sunblock, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, face wash, diaper cream, shaving cream, and foot cream. Coconut oil has a high smoke point. Coconut oil will be the creamer in your coffee. Coconut oil will make your food vegan. Go for it. Don't slip and fall.
  4. Castor oil
    Made from the plant that produces ricin (!?), castor oil is an old-timey cartoon trope of what adults force kids to swallow. It's a laxative. Castor oil makes your hair grow (this includes eyelashes and eyebrows as well), purifies your skin, and eliminates stretch marks and scars. There are parts of the Internet that claim that castor oil will straight up treat cancer. Please don't try that.