1. A child a child shivers in the cold. Let us bring him silver and gold.
    How much bullion will create room at the inn?
  2. Gone away is the bluebird, here to stay is a new bird.
    This just seems like lazy writing.
  3. Bless all the dear children in thy tender care, and take us to heaven to live with thee there.
  4. On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me (in all, over the course of 12 days, 184 birds).
  5. Logs on the fire fill me with desire / To see you and to say that I wish you Merry Christmas
    From "Merry Christmas, Darling". Logs = unsexy. Really, Carpenters?
    Suggested by @ladyprofessor
  6. "There'll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long long ago"
    Scary ghost stories? Really?
    Suggested by @cbarbulescu
  7. "Well, tonight thank God it's them instead of you." Do They Know It's Christmas by Band Aid
    Wtf? How awful
    Suggested by @meg1
  8. All is calm, all is quiet. Sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace.
    First of all, I don't think the manger next to the donkey and the camel was in Mary's birth plan. She is not calm. Secondly, that's a newborn baby. Ain't nobody sleeping at all. Not in heavenly peace, not at all.
  9. Presents on the tree
    On? What kind of BS presents are those? The plaster of paris handprint angel ornament a 3-year-old made at Vacation Bible School? No thank you. A lot of times this is changed to "presents 'round the tree," which makes me feel better.
    Suggested by @theranman