THE FIRST TIME I GOT DRUNK

Inspired by @k8zinker (I think this is where it started!) and, um. Possible trigger warning. 🚨
  1. I was 22.
    I'd drank before, but... not like this.
  2. I had been married approximately one month.
    It was a Friday. My newly wedded (now ex) husband showed up at home a few hours early. He had been fired. Also, this was 2007, and we had no idea what we were about to go through with his unemployment and a recessed economy, but that's another story.
  3. Anyway, we were looking to forget about it.
    His best friend (let's call him Adam) came over with a bunch of liquor. The standard young person TRASH like Jager, something that tasted like mint, something that tasted like cinnamon, something that tasted like peaches, you get the idea.
  4. I remember innocently, tipsily playing Mario Kart.
    Then nothing.
  5. The next morning I woke up naked in our bed. My husband was asleep downstairs on the couch, and Adam was gone.
    I freaked the hell out—Between being sick in the bathroom.
  6. Our kitchen was a mess.
    My husband had thrown up in the kitchen sink, I gathered. There was garbage everywhere. There was a minty-smelling sticky film on the floor.
  7. I took a shower, and tried to remember why I was naked.
    My bathing suit was in the shower. I was totally losing my mind. My head was ringing. I feared the worst.
  8. Still shaking, I finally convinced my husband to sit up and call Adam.
    Adam had the wherewithal to go ahead and drive home.
  9. Apparently we all went swimming at the pool at our apartment... at 2am.
    Adam says that he and my husband went skinny dipping, but I wore my bathing suit. He also said that some man came out to tell us to leave, and punched my naked husband in the chest.
  10. Adam says I decided to take a post-swim shower after my husband fell asleep on the couch.
    Also, that I laid down and went to sleep on the shower floor. So he carried me from the shower to my bed.
  11. I'm not friends with Adam anymore, since I got divorced, but I think he's a decent guy.
    But the truth is I just have no clue if anything bad happened to me.
  12. And that is why I drink in total moderation.
    I don't ever want to not be in control of my body.