WAYS THAT MY BIRD WILL BLOW YOUR COVER

  1. Eating something you're not supposed to, or trying to keep secret?
    She'll impatiently ask, "huh?" Until you share or until the food is gone.
  2. Making out with someone?
    Once I had a room mate invite a lady over to watch a movie, so I holed myself up in my room to give them space. I could hear the bird imitating their kisses from the other room.
  3. Cooking something in the middle of the night?
    First of all, how rude of you to wake her up. She's going to start screaming, and now no one can sleep.
  4. Trying to hide from door-to-door solicitors?
    She thinks every knock at the door means pizza is being delivered, so she just starts talking excitedly when anyone knocks. The solicitor thinks someone is shouting from inside the house, and just keeps knocking forever.
  5. Sneaking a stranger into the house?
    It usually takes several minutes for her to accept that someone outside of her flock has entered her home, so she shrieks like a fire alarm until she's over it.
  6. Sneaking out of the house?
    A frantic "BYE BYE!" Rings through the house, alerting everyone to your proximity to the front door.
  7. Lying over the phone and saying you've already left the house?
    This is when she usually pipes in with a catchphrase like "peekaboo," or "where's the dog?"
  8. She's always watching