Those Times There Wasn't A Second Date

  1. When she told me she was still living with her ex-girlfriend and she was writing a book about her life.
  2. When I went on a date two weeks after breaking up with my ex and told her all about it.
  3. That time the bill was $21.00 and I paid my "half" with two $1 bills and five dollars in change. And then took the leftovers.
  4. When I found out I had gone on a date with her roommate and I liked the roommate better.
  5. When she told me she was married.
    Actually I did go on a second date with her, but the marriage thing was a deal-breaker. Also, she stopped texting me.
  6. That time we had sex and then she told me all about her mental health and then told me she was in a relationship when she texted me two weeks later.
  7. When we went to a really loud bar and I kept having to ask her to repeat almost everything she said.
  8. When she talked badly about a cast member of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.