Times I Have Almost Pooped My Pants (and the various reasons why)
- •When I was 26 at an ice cream shopI ate 20 dried apricots the night before. I guess because I'm an animal.
- •In college whenever there was someone else in the bathroom and I had to poopI don't like people to be around during my special time.
- •Pretty much every Saturday morning for the last two yearsMy roommate takes 45 minute showers.
- •When I was at the mall with my mom and aunt that one timeI refused to use public toilets to poop for a long time.
- •At girl scout campBecause it was a latrine which is much too outdoorsy for my refined asshole.
- •In ChinaBecause they were squat toilets and I was afraid to poop in them. I ended up clogging two western toilets. Oops.
- •At work during a meetingToo much coffee.
- •The few days after my period startsHormones.
- •Whenever I eat dairyDuh.