Working retail is the best.
  1. "HEY do you work here?????"
    Holy shit. No. I'm wearing a BRIGHT YELLOW lanyard that says MANAGER to trick you.. Because actually I'm just a trash can.
  2. "Do you have a garbage?"
    In my head: Omg were you hoping to make me feel like a literal trash can at work? AM I A TRASH CAN? To the customer: Oh sure I can take that...
  3. "Can you look in the back for my size all I found was smalls"
    Lol at anyone who thinks the back room is an organized mansion of hangbars filled with clothes in your size. In reality it's hundreds of unmarked boxes that I never plan on opening
  4. "Where is that (insert item) on the mannequin?"
    "OH WELL what size is the one on the mannequin, can I have that one" sure... Yeah I'll just undress the whole thing during business hours. No worries.
  5. "You don't give cash back!!????"
    No. We don't. I don't know why. Nor do I care. Store credit or gtfo.
  6. "Can I just get some quarters?"
    Literally wtf. You came all the way to the mall to ask me for quarters. Did you want me to do your laundry as well?
    You know what's worse than asking me to throw something away? Leaving your fucking half drank Jamba Juice on a table in the store. Forcing me to yell JAMBA and then try to poke my eyes out with the straw so I can go home. #workmanscomp