12 Laws of Life
This is written by Tom Hooybar. It's from a PDF I found months ago. I don't know much about the guy or how I came across it. But it's helpful and worth sharing.
- •Self management and people skills are the keys to your success and happinessThis is a major fact of life. If you learn to manage yourself you can accomplish anything you can dream up. Most people limit themselves by their unwillingness to consider personal change. They won't learn new things and they won't change their behaviors even when they discover they've been wrong. Self management is actually the first step to building people skills. Once you commit to changing yourself and who you can be, you will notice the people around you in a different way.
- •You are at the center of your universeFor outer centeredness, you need to gain awareness of your personal boundaries. This is critical. Protect your personal prerogatives and respect those of others. Allowing others to invade your boundaries will destroy your personal freedom and subject you to their tyranny. If you cross the boundaries of others you become codependent with them, caring more about how they live their lives than how you live yours.
- •What you think about most is what you getAfraid? Then all the goblins that you fear will be attracted to you. The only useful purpose of fear is to remind you to plan. Angry? Then you'll get a lot of angry people to tussle with. Choose your habitual thought patterns carefully. Love, optimism, and gratitude are good choices. These states of mind inspire you to explore, to create, to grow and to give. Excuses don't accomplish anything. Practice the skills of optimism, gratitude and forgiveness and your life will expand.
- •You make your habits and then your habits make youOur lives are created by what we do, not by what we intend. It means that we can harvest only what we plant. And every day you're planting something, so choose wisely. The most important qualities in life – spirituality, health, relationships, wealth, and your personal character – are developed by regular acts done on a daily basis. Changing your life doesn't take a lot of work – just repeat a single positive act daily for three weeks to form a habit. Now add another one. Your life will blossom.
- •Guilt enslaves you. Responsibility liberates you.Are you self-conscious? Most people are. They're walking around thinking that people will notice their bad hair, poor credit and personal shortcomings. These feelings are universal – we all got them while we were being taught how to behave as infants ("No!" "Bad!" "Don't"). When we become adults we are supposed to leave these feelings of inadequacy in childhood where they were needed. Free yourself from getting mad at people that are not even around anymore, including the younger you.
- •Obligations are a fraudWe've all been taught that we owe other people all sorts of obligations and that we should expect lots of things from them in return. That idea, in one word, is bullshit. We waste an incredible amount of time doing things we don't want and don't have to do, or feeling guilty because we didn't do something we "should've" done. We also waste a lot of time being disappointed when we don't get what we expect from others. Don't look to anyone else for your success. That's your job and yours alone.
- •Expect less from others and more from yourselfMost people expect way too much from others while they themselves actually get very little done. Inertia and distraction are insidious and damn near universal – expect in others but guard against it in your own behavior. Here's the big principle. If you want something to happen, take control and do it yourself. Don't get bitter if perhaps someone else didn't keep a commitment to help you. It is a waste of time to criticize others, and a bigger waste to pay attention to anyone's criticism of you.
- •Nobody chooses to be the villainEveryone alive thinks that they're the good guy. He or she is the hero in their version of the story. People who are troublesome aren't worth changing. Don't even waste time complaining about them. If someone hurts you, it's not about you and you shouldn't act like it was. People do what they do because of their own inner reality. Learn what you can do differently the next time, then forgive them and move on. Carrying grudges ties up brain cells that you can use to make your life sweeter.
- •There is no happily ever after in the real worldFriends may change, luck comes and goes, and there are no guarantees. The only certainty is a someday you'll die and only you can decide how it will be lived. If you want a happy ending you need to create it. Choose your goals, write them down, and track them daily. Your life will happen by accident unless you have a plan. Either way things will happen. On every day of your life, after every tragedy and triumph, the sun rises again. You get a new day every morning. So respect reality.
- •There is a hell, and it starts earlyPeople create their own personal hell with moral shortcuts, regrets about lost opportunities, resentment, and guilt. They give up their peace of mind, and sometimes their self-respect. Pretty soon their immune system gets the message and then their physical afflictions begin – their relationships are desolate and life becomes an ordeal. When these people look ahead the future looks just like the past. Stretching on and on, day after unhappy day. And that is truly Hell.
- •You can create paradise on earth. Many people do.It doesn't take much, just some daily practice. Spend time in solitude each day renewing your peace of mind. Invest in good memories by managing your behavior so that you enjoy looking back on your life. You create your Heaven by small acts of generosity, making others smile. You create it by acts of courage – doing the right thing when no one but you will ever know. By making promises to yourself and keeping them, which builds your self-respect. You'll learn that you are more than you thought.
- •It's never too late to changeEveryone alive gets the same amount of time. 1440 minutes a day. As long as you live. The only difference is how you spend those hours. You can begin to turn your life around in a second. The only thing you need to do is decide to make it better. Each moment is a gift, and the chance to make your life different comes to you during each one of them. It's OK to dream big. Where do you want to go from here? How do you want your next moments to be? It's up to you.