REASONS I'VE COME UP WITH FOR WHY I'M STILL AWAKE AT 4AM

  1. Not understanding that the iced coffee I ordered at 7pm was actually cold brew.
  2. I haven't yet come to terms with paying $5.25 for iced coffee. Or cold brew. Whatever the fuck.
  3. What I thought was a brain storm was actually a panic attack.
  4. Or a manic episode.
  5. Or a manic attack episode.
  6. Manic attack of the clones episode II
  7. What if Star Wars sucks?
  8. Will JJ Abrams be ok if Star Wars sucks?
  9. I've seen every episode of the west wing seven times and can't decide which one I want to put me to bed.
  10. I watched the decline of western civilization again and can't get over how great lee ving was.
  11. And how quickly punk got so dumb.
  12. Accidental menthol cigarette.
  13. Someone spiked my fish ball soup with amphetamines.
  14. Enjoying (too much) the thought that Fish balls are actually 80% amphetamine (10% fish, 10% nerf)
  15. Mentally packing for trip to London.
  16. Mentally panicking about all the shit I can't get done before trip to London.
  17. I've actually been asleep this whole time and this is all a dream.
  18. How the fuck do you mail a 20x30 poster in a frame across the country?
  19. Thought trying to figure tinder would knock me out. Still confounded. Also awake. Fuck.
  20. Thought trying to figure out list app would knock me out. Still confounded. Also awake. Fuck.