CHRISTMAS GIFT IDEAS

From you to me.
  1. A Brooklyn apartment between 600-800.
  2. $15k to make another movie next summer.
  3. Great therapists for all my friends.
  4. A personal serenade by Tom Jones in a public place, preferably a bar, so basically Tom Jones just sings "it's no unusual" while I stare straight ahead just sippin along.
  5. The mythical beast Griffin so I may have a best friend that can also fly me anywhere on the cheap.
  6. Telekinesis abilities.
  7. An elder scroll so that I may rend time asunder and create a new world from the ground up.