1. Just 25 things?
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  2. Sure, Blake Lively's pregnant...
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    ...But the real question here is why she is wearing a dress decorated with my grandma's half-eaten hard candy.
  3. About time someone made a bar graph demonstrating Leo's rising evilness.
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  4. In her purse, Jennifer Carpenter carries "a Tupperware container of vegetable soup" and old coffee lids for her kid to chew on
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    Whose bag is this? Ellie Mae Clampett's?
  5. To clarify: this is NOT the title of her show.
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    But, oh, how I wish it were.
  6. Yep, the thinner people STILL wore it best.
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    Take that, fatties.
  7. "Roasted and Toasted Nut-Based Satisfaction "
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    This is not an article, obviously. It's an ad, thanks to which I cannot stop saying "Nutchello" despite how much my ears hate the sound of it.
  8. Oh, T-Pain!
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    That's some real Jerry-Seinfeld-circa-1994 level stuff right there.
  9. Eve, this week's Master of Logical Reasoning, Regrettable Tattoos Division
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  10. Ha ha ha ha ha!
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    "Oh, my god. Ha ha ha. This is my dad. Jack Nicholson's my dad. Ha ha ha! The creepiest human being on earth, next to Carrot Top! HA HA HA!!!"
  11. I don't mean to be crass, but…
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    JESUS CHRIST that is the biggest camel toe I have ever seen!
  12. Or #bedtimeatsbarro
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  13. The greatest prank Fred Armisen ever pulled...
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    ...was convincing the world he is Jack Antonoff.
  14. Nope.
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  15. Sure, I can't get my fucking book published
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    but YOUNG & BEARDLESS is coming out May 17, thank god.
  16. Noted nonagenarian Bruce Willis and his wife have a puzzle table.
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    A PUZZLE TABLE!!!
  17. "She'll probably be a mix of both of us," says John Legend...
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    ...displaying his dazzling knowledge of biology.
  18. I'm just really concerned about the size of their foreheads.
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  19. In case you were wondering what a step down from Wilmer Valderamma looks like.
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  20. If you ever asked me who would attend a "What happens here, stays here" party, my NUMBER ONE guess would have been Kellan Lutz.
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  21. Tiffani "You'll Always Be Amber to Me" Theissen finally confirming what we have all known for years: she does not know what 'funny' means.
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