1. Oh, good. Another shitty celebrity making me feel lousy about my body.
    Static
  2. This reminds me I need to buy some more paper clips.
    Static
  3. Who wore it best? How about who wore it first? I'm guessing Laura Ingalls.
    Static
  4. I hope to god this baby has Pete Campbell's hairline.
    Static
  5. I read the quote on the right three times thinking she meant fans, as in the people who inexplicably love her music. I'm still not sure that isn't what she meant.
    Static
    Also, I FEEL you on the karaoke problem, Mariah. SAMESIES.
  6. I have a similar rule. It's that I have to wear pants when leaving the house. Same general principle.
    Static
  7. Sorry. I just seriously can't get enough of these quotes. It's like reading my own thoughts.
    Static
  8. I will spend the rest of my life learning how to pronounce Emayatzy Corinealdi.
    Static
    There is absolutely nothing interesting in this woman's purse. Which, I guess, leaves me more time to work on her name.
  9. Oh, this just seems like a colossally bad idea.
    Static
    Two of his items involve getting drunk and another is about beer. CELEBRITY INTERVENTION!!!! CALL PAULA!!! (I would pay cash money to see that.)
  10. Hmmm...maybe a double intervention?
    Static
    I'd probably drink too if Ross was my dad.
  11. Yeah, THAT was the problem.
    Static
  12. As one does.
    Static
  13. Welp, we have our first contender for this week's Christ on a Cracker Award for Sartorial Dumbfuckery.
    Static
    Stay klassy, Kourtney!
  14. Introducing a new weekly feature: Haunting my Nightmares.
    Static
  15. Partynextdoor is unquestionably the best rap name ever. I am immediately changing my name to Rerunsonthecouch.
    Static
  16. She calls her new look "mortuary disco."
    Static
  17. One stiff breeze and she's showing front bum.
    Static
  18. The fact that this does not begin with "Get yourself a good hacksaw" is deeply disappointing.
    Static
  19. And then he found out it was "Harold."
    Static
  20. "No, let's try this one more time: IM-MO-BILE," doctors to Scott Eastwood's stunt double.
    Static
  21. Nothing snarky to say. Just behold the glory of this amazing woman.
    Static
    Okay, you can move on now. Thank you for your time.
  22. Look, I barely know who these women are but I know enough to find this deeply off-putting.
    Static
  23. I don't know, guys. Is this worse than Kourtney's?
    Static
  24. Are these?
    Static
  25. Will this week's Christ on a Cracker Award for Sartorial Dumbfuckery be a 700-way tie?
    Static
  26. Yes. Yes, it will.
    Static