Inspired by @_sarah
  1. As a little kid in Glasgow, I used to watch Elvis movies on TV on weekend afternoons.
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  2. I pretty much thought that was what America was like.
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  3. So the first major news story I remember was Elvis' death in 1977, when I was six.
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  4. I had no concept of how a human could have "died on the toilet."
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  5. But I was pretty afraid of toilets for a long time after that.
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  6. I'm okay now, though.
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  7. THE END