ONE CHILDHOOD MEMORY I WOULD GO BACK AND RELIVE

  1. 1978. Boston. We've just moved from Scotland.
  2. I am fat AND I have an accent. This, sadly, is not a recipe for popularity.
  3. The kids tease me all the time, asking if I play the bagpipes, wear a kilt or lived in a castle.
  4. In response, I wrack my brain for the most stereotypically American thing I can think of.
  5. And the next time someone asks me if I play the bagpipes, I turn around and say, "I dunno. Do you play the HAMBURGER????"
  6. BOOM!!!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
  7. My first slam! What a moment of glory! What a triumph! The door cracked open for the first time on an idea that would, in time, become obvious:
  8. I'm a friggin' comic genius.