SARTORIAL DUMBFUCKERY AT THE GOLDEN GLOBES

Or, What I'm Doing to Avoid Work today.
  1. All of these elicited from me a giant
  2. Felicity Jones
    Did someone draw the top of this on with a Sharpie?
  3. Carrie Underwood
    Somewhere, in an alternate universe, Joan Collins and Linda Evans are fighting to the death over this.
  4. Sarah Jessica Parker
    A red carpet wedding is a great idea. But someone should tell her that her sleeves are coming apart at the seams.
  5. Tracee Ellis Ross
    I ADORE Tracee Ellis Ross and was so thrilled that she won, but this bordello lampshade cover does her figure no favors.
  6. Blake Lively
    Again, making a svelte woman look like a linebacker isn't the goal.
  7. Janell Monae
    Many liked this, but I just can't. Especially when she took the stage for Moonlight and could barely walk. I'd love to see how she sat in it.
  8. Jessica Biel
    Again! She looks incredibly bulky in the hip area. But I do give her credit for making a skirt out of the fabric covering my desk chair. Maybe it was an unconventional materials challenge?
  9. Nicole Kidman
    Oh, Nicole. Was this a dare of some sort?
  10. Connie Britton
    It pains me to dis Tammy Taylor, but this snoozer appears to have one short sleeve and one...no sleeve? Nonsense.
  11. Anna Chlumsky
    Anna Chlumsky is awesome. So why is she wearing a wine gift bag left over from Christmas?
  12. Sophie Turner
    I am not versed in fashion nearly well enough to parse what is happening here.
  13. Emily Ratajkowski
    I bet she thought this was demure.
  14. Kerry Washington
    Epaulets, see-through lace and a partial sash? Seems fair.
  15. Zoe Saldana
    And I was worried nothing from my Grandma's house would get a nod! This is her bedspread from 1973, all tied up with the ribbon she used to wrap my Barbie dream house. Nicely done.