THE SHEER FUCKING HEARTBREAK OF HAVING A FAMILY MEMBER WITH UNTREATED ADDICTION

A cheery Monday list.
  1. Reconciling who they were to you in the past with who they are now.
    Or the idea that you have absolutely no idea who they are anymore, and really haven't for a long time.
  2. Letting go. Over and over again.
    My mantra for right now: This is not mine to fix.
  3. Being absolutely, completely stunned by the desperation and demoralization...
    ...even when you have almost 20 years sobriety and KNOW how this shit goes.
  4. Negotiating with all the sadness you carry around, asking it to take a goddamn backseat for just ten fucking minutes so you can get some writing done.
  5. Accepting the notion that you are okay even in the midst of someone else's chaos.