THINGS I THOUGHT WHEN I WAS YOUNGER

  1. That it was "six of one-half, a dozen of the other."
    I was all "six of one half"? You mean three? What the?
  2. That white people's poop was brown and black people's poop was white.
    This is solid logic, people. (Tee hee. I said 'solid.')
  3. That the poster of Elvis my sister had in our bedroom was priceless solely because his eyes seemed to follow you wherever you went.
    The fact that it was torn from a magazine was of no import to me. We were going to be RICH!!!!
  4. That it was still the 1950s in America.
    I grew up in Scotland until I was 10 and my entire education on the United States was watching Grease, Happy Days and the old Elvis movies they showed on TV on Saturday afternoons. For Halloween one year, I asked my mother for a poodle skirt so I could go as an "American."
  5. That I was for sure going to be in ABBA one day.