THOUGHTS I HAD AFTER LEARNING MY THERAPIST DIED SUDDENLY

I got a voicemail on Sunday from a strange woman who let me know my therapist of two years died suddenly Saturday morning.
  1. What the fuck
  2. We spent our last session discussing preparing for death, and my desire for my parents to create a will. How would he interpret that conversation now, given that he has unexpectedly died?
  3. His wife must be devastated
  4. I feel so sorry for the woman who has to place all these calls.
  5. Will his patients be okay?
  6. Am i okay?
  7. I am going to finish this episode of Bloodline like nothing happened
  8. Do i know anyone who can give me a fucking clue here?
  9. Should i send flowers?
  10. What the fuck
  11. I should get my tarot cards read, because it feels like I'm surrounded by death and i don't understand what it means
  12. I owe him about $120.00. Maybe more. What will happen with that?
  13. He was so patient with me.
  14. I always joked with everyone about how i hated him, but that was probably just my way of distancing myself from the tenderness of our work.
  15. I saw him on Tuesday. At the end of the session we made a joke about Easter (both of us Jews), and he said "see ya next week." He was corny, but he was funny.
  16. Dying must be so scary when its unexpected and sudden. What was he thinking? Who was he, really?
  17. Should i get a new therapist? How long should i wait?
  18. Googled "when a therapist dies suddenly"