Gone are the days when ISIS is mentioned and we break into "I married Isis on the fifth day of May..." Gotta talk about perpetual war instead :-(
  2. Tax returns
    I try to casually mention how i cant afford to pay taxes, but mom and dad don't pick up on it.
  3. Story of Exodus
    "What if Jews actually crossed the Nile, not the Red Sea?!" and other reasons my family thinks my conspiracy theories have gone too far.
  4. The family dogs
    "Wendy tell them about the time Lulu got mouth on a squirrel!"; "Did you see him poop? What was the consistency? Vet said it should look like soft serve ice cream", and so on
  5. Saltiness of the brisket
    "It needs salt"
  6. Sweetness of macaroons
    "Very rich"
  7. This Old House
    The best thing on TV. Learned about different HVAC systems, decided a career in heating and cooling would bring job security.
  8. Buddists
    Do we know any? Does it work??