People I saw today tubing

Unfortunately I didn't have my phone so there are no photos but, I will do my best to describe them.
  1. The woman who had her "shorts" pulled up so high they had about the coverage of a thong.
  2. The women who was dragging in child behind her in the water and would announce her farts so her daughter could move out of the path of the fart.
  3. The man who insisted on high-fiving every person who got on the bus with an enthusiastic "Oh yeah, we're going tubing!"
    And he didn't even work for the park. He for some reason just wanted to touch that many hands.
  4. The girl who got stuck on a tree branch and tried to climb over it only to see a snake. She then proceeded to scream and almost drown.
    Oh wait, that was me.