IRRATIONAL FEARS ABOUT RETURNING TO THE STATES

I can't sleep. Someone hold me.
  1. What if I got summoned for jury duty five months ago?
    My old roommates sometimes get my mail but what if I missed a summons? Can I go to jail for this?
  2. What if I have an unpaid parking ticket?
    That has somehow amassed over months and is now a massive fine? Again, can I go to jail for this?
  3. What if I get parasites within the next 48 hours?
    I can't repeat the post-Haiti sickness of Christmas 2014. I want to eat real food this Christmas. Please.
  4. What if my significant other scoots around on me while I'm out of the country?
    This is totally projecting the past because Ali is the best human ever. HOWEVER. This time last year, I also left the country my boyfriend was in, also for two weeks, also trusting and this-is-fine... And uh, it wasn't fine.
  5. What if I get rejected at customs?
    Would they send me back? Would I get to see my family? What if I have a too-heavy bag? I'm on a shoestring budget right now.
  6. What if no one in LA wants to hang out with me?
    I've been gone half a year. I'm so painfully uncool and not "with it." What if I spend the entire four days sitting at coffee shops alone (okay, that sounds kinda nice...)
  7. What if I leave my heater on and my apartment burns down?
    My roommate will be mad at me.
  8. What if my job decides they don't need me anymore?
    And I get back to, khalas, no job and no income. (Also ridiculous because I love my job and I'm working a little bit while stateside, but still...)
  9. What if I run out of money while visiting LA?
    No one told me writing jobs don't pay well. (Kidding, kinda) month of high electric + heating oil + etc = broke broke broke
  10. What if what if what if
    I can't sleep. I'm worrying too much.
  11. Seriously though, someone help me with the jury duty thing.