What really happened
  1. After peeing on a stick (at 6am) quietly open the bathroom door
    But I'm shaking so hard I can't get the door open and I make a ton of noise
  2. Sit on bed
    Realize that you've actually woken him up from all the bathroom door noise
  3. Kiss him on his cheek to wake him
    Assume cause he has one eye open that he's as fully awake as I am
  4. Show him the stick and quietly say "guess what? We're pregnant"
    Aggressively scream in his face, "We're fucking pregnant" while doing an unintentional impression of Macho Man Randy Savage in a Slim Jim commercial
  5. Share the joy of the news together
    Okay, he's confused so just scream it again, "We're fucking pregnant!!!"
  6. We kiss
    He responds, "I don't understand what's going on."
  7. He hugs me and tells me he's so excited to go on this adventure with me
    I say more calmly this time, "We did it. We're pregnant." He realizes what's happening and we celebrate