THE WEIRDEST THING I EAT

I'll show you mine!
  1. My parents are both southern. Like, Very Southern.
    This is important. For reasons.
  2. So sausage and biscuits are an important part of my life.
    Even though no one in my family can make a good biscuit from scratch. Pilsbury, y'all, it's hard to beat.
  3. Every Saturday when I was a kid, we'd watch cartoons and my dad would make breakfast.
    No wonder I've always had a thing for men who could make breakfast, huh?
  4. It was always sausage and biscuits and scrambled eggs.
  5. The eggs were scrambled in the sausage grease.
    If you're throwing out your sausage or bacon grease, we can't be friends.
  6. We'd sit down at the table and pull fluffy, hot (canned) biscuits from the basket in the center.
  7. Then I'd slice my biscuits and watch.
  8. My dad put mustard on his biscuit.
    On both sides. The man likes some zing.
  9. My mom put grape jelly on hers.
    I've always wondered when she first thought that grape jelly was the thing to pair with a pork product, but I've never had the heart to ask.
  10. And I wanted to be like both of them.
  11. So I used both.
  12. And it was delicious.
  13. So I kept doing it.
  14. I had no idea it was weird until I started having sleepovers.
    Then all my friends confirmed it. You could use mustard or jelly, but not both.
  15. It was too good to stop, though.
  16. So I kept eating sausage biscuits with mustard and grape jelly.
  17. I'll eat them forever.
  18. It's gross and I'm not sorry.