How to Best Wait for Your Car to Get Serviced

I've been at Honda. all. morning. πŸš—
  1. β€’
    show up late
    only you think you're on time but then realize your appointment was 30 minutes ago Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―
  2. β€’
    tell them which service lights turned on (three weeks ago)
    and don't bother explaining why it took you this long. Daniel at Honda doesn't care
  3. β€’
    tell them which additional services you'd like to try
    like your driver's side window, which hasn't rolled down since you left her sitting in the PHX sun for a month while you galavanted all around some countries πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡²πŸ‡½
  4. β€’
    see estimated price
    this is important for two reasons
  5. β€’
    respond to estimated price:
    by cancelling some of the original services provided (really, what's an old filter going to harm?) πŸ’ΈπŸ’Έ
  6. β€’
    respond to estimated price:
    by consuming approximately THAT much in "free" coffee and donuts (and popcorn when it's finally lunch time, because you know you'll be here then too) β˜•οΈπŸ©πŸΏ
  7. β€’
    bring responsible things...
    work, applications, a book
  8. β€’
    ... and ignore them
    by listing
  9. β€’
    go back for your 6th cup of coffee 😳
  10. β€’
    listen to everyone else's conversations
    Tim has a 9am tee time on Monday and he paid over the phone, with his credit card, which he read out loud. if I hadn't been listing, I could have been listening and then I could have stolen his identity
  11. β€’
    do other creepy things
    ask the poor receptionist about the popcorn on the hour, every hour
  12. β€’
    consider taking their rent-a-Honda-while-you-wait to do some holiday shopping
    but don't
  13. β€’
    look up every time a service person walks in
    do I look like Nancy who's waiting for her Accord?
  14. β€’
    consider pretending to be Nancy just so you can leave
    hope her accord is automatic, because you never really mastered manual
  15. β€’
    oh, popcorn's out
    bye Nancy
  16. β€’
    cry when they finally call your name
    and then cry again when they tell you the price. you needed to eat at least 3 more donuts in order to break even
  17. β€’
    remind yourself this is a first world problem
    but still 😩
  18. β€’
    forgo your plan to run a half marathon before 10 and get right back into bed
  19. β€’
    never return to Honda
    ever