My First Rosh Away From Shul

and some reflections
  1. on this day, 20some odd years ago, two of my girlfriends were born. this year, tired of the old dinner & drinks combo, they opted for a beautiful wine tour in Sedona complete with a limo, free cheese, and a tasty picnic lunch
  2. and I'm still not a member of any of the PHX congregations who so kindly offer guest tickets to the high holiday services, so maybe this is a nice chance to try a Rosh Hashanah away from synagogue
  3. by the time we get to Sedona we are giggling and relieved and so excited to be in our pretty little cabin with cheetos, wine, and -- my contribution-- apples and honey 🍎🍯
  4. we sleep early knowing we have a lot of wining to accomplish tomorrow 🍷
  5. we wake up to a tour bus we are supposed to share with a newly engaged couple that does not show up
    don't worry about them, limo- driver- roger says they merely reserved the tour on the wrong dates. they are, likely, still newly engaged
  6. limo bus to ourselves!
  7. we spend a lovely afternoon in nature learning about local wine and its history
    wine from Sedona is extremely young compared to the more widely known Napa and Willamette Valley vineyards. none of the wineries we visit have 100% home grown vintages bottled before 2000.
  8. this feels new year-ish
    learning to nurture something new and young in an environment entirely its own
  9. then we sit down to a picnic lunch that we pre-ordered through our limo wine tour
    thanks roger!
  10. mine didn't come with a cookie, but everyone else got one. my girlfriends offer to share their cookies which is so nice
  11. until she says, "you got Jewed"
  12. and I just stare, taken aback
  13. and she laughs
  14. and I calmly, but firmly tell her that's rude
  15. and she says "I know," and laughs some more
    she thinks I am talking about the cookie
  16. and I'm more clear the second time around
  17. and she stops laughing and apologizes right away
    because this was silly to her. her intentions were not cruel, although her words were
  18. and we go about our day. lesson learned, we're all the wiser and still friends
    because that is how people learn
  19. and the rest of the trip is silly and leisurely and full of wine and nature and pictures
  20. like this one that made us all laugh
  21. and that is the picture I post to social media
    because it's so much better than the one we took right after, where we are posing and cheesing, and I like it
  22. until he comments, "I see 50 cents"
    as though, instead of getting ready for a photo, I am distracted by money on the ground
  23. and again, I'm taken aback
  24. and he's not right in front of me, and I can't quickly nip this in the bud
    I'd have to reply via social media which will inevitably involve 100+ people who all have opinions about whether or not this is rude
  25. and the truth is this: it doesn't matter to me whether or not those 100+ think it's rude or if he thinks I'm overreacting
  26. the truth is: I think it's rude and I don't think I'm overreacting
  27. the truth is: I would have picked up 50 cents on the ground without any shame. money is money, Jewish or not
  28. the truth is: they don't teach you this in shul. they teach you about Jonah and the whale and taking responsibility for your actions, but they don't teach you how to calmly, but firmly react to the actions of others
  29. and that's where I am, trying to apply the lessons I've learned in my 20some odd years of shul and approach this gracefully with understanding
    but I still need to be very clear about my feelings on this issue, as this is not something I will continue to put up with
  30. here's to hoping I've found some type of resolution in time for yomkip
    (which is my birthday and I will be eating traif and cake all day long 🍤🎂)
  31. thanks for reading
    and shana tova!