So many things....
  1. The internet telling me what to feel.
    "Here are 34 pictures of Victorian architecture that will make you feel like a kid whose just snuck a cookie from the jar before dinner and didn't get caught."
  2. Hearing about micropenises
  3. The stupid fucking moon mocking my every move!
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    "Look at that idiot searching for his house keys that he dropped in the tall grass."
  4. Hillary Clinton's damn emails!
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  5. Every podcaster's Squarespace ad
    "I'm so stupid when it comes to websites and I put a slice of cheese in the CD drive of my laptop."
  6. People referring to sports teams as "we."
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    "WE made all the basket goals last night. I'm so very lonely."
  7. Donald Trump
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    I have nothing else to say about this. Fuck that guy.
  8. Having that dream where Chris Hardwick yells "POINTS" every time I do literally anything.
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    The sarcasm is not appreciated, Chris.