MY OPINIONS ABOUT TYPES OF PASTA

  1. Farfalle (Bow ties)
    Great. Works well with a sauce of any thickness. Maintains structural integrity. Also adorable.
  2. Penne
    Boring but effective
  3. Rigatoni
    Fuck rigatoni. It's a knockoff penne that is often too wide in diameter to withstand any force and lacks structural integrity.
  4. Orecchiette
    Bullshit. The pieces stack on top of each other while cooking, creating impenetrable orbs that don't allow the water to cook them. Easy to end up with a bowl of 1/2 hard 1/2 soggy pasta.
  5. Spaghetti and spaghetti derivatives
    Good. Important that the noodle is not too think so you don't feel like you're slurping worms and not too thin that you feel like you're chewing on textured air (looking at you angel hair)
  6. Elbows
    Adorable and fine
  7. Fisarmoniche
    All the ridges allow for extreme soaking of sauces, assuring that each bite has a relatively evenly distributed flavor profile.
  8. Seasonal shapes and colors
    Stop white people