1. Fuck it, we'll change the FAQ—it's gonna be pronounced "la-kwah" now, everyone on the coasts is making fun of it rhyming with "enjoy".
    And they buy way more of this shit than the fucking Midwest, so what are we holding onto?
  2. 7 more flavors you will feel dissatisfied with.
    Stick with Pamplemousse, Lime and Mango. Apricot in a pinch.
  3. This fucking cake.
  4. Still bubbly. Still convincing you water isn't good enough.