Mom {v40.3.8}

  1. God bless her, but she still doesn't know what kind of cake you like.
  2. Can last 4 days without a phone call from you without a panic attack.
  3. Hugs are tight.
  4. Name accuracy dropped to 64% correct.
    It's just gonna get worse and she's gonna call you by your brother's name at least once per conversation.
  5. Posts the weirdest memes on Facebook.
    She's TRYING but still doesn't get the medium. And she's gotta stop commenting on your high school sweetheart's posts. WTFF
  6. Now loves you with 13% less conditions.
  7. Has mastered a new Moroccan recipe that you are gonna love!
    Mispronounces tajine *every friggin time* tho.
  8. Retired her fanny pack.
    Except when she travels.
  9. Finally, the most requested feature: She defaults to texting you rather than calling.
    She finally understands that calls are to be scheduled or for emergencies only. Never a quick hello. Emoji works for that but thank god she didn't get the eggplant joke you mistaken texted to her. Your cover story will ensure future versions of Mom!