- •God bless her, but she still doesn't know what kind of cake you like.
- •Can last 4 days without a phone call from you without a panic attack.
- •Hugs are tight.
- •Name accuracy dropped to 64% correct.It's just gonna get worse and she's gonna call you by your brother's name at least once per conversation.
- •Posts the weirdest memes on Facebook.She's TRYING but still doesn't get the medium. And she's gotta stop commenting on your high school sweetheart's posts. WTFF
- •Now loves you with 13% less conditions.
- •Has mastered a new Moroccan recipe that you are gonna love!Mispronounces tajine *every friggin time* tho.
- •Retired her fanny pack.Except when she travels.
- •Finally, the most requested feature: She defaults to texting you rather than calling.She finally understands that calls are to be scheduled or for emergencies only. Never a quick hello. Emoji works for that but thank god she didn't get the eggplant joke you mistaken texted to her. Your cover story will ensure future versions of Mom!