Summer Barbeque {v4.1.2}

  1. Oscar used fucking vegannaise in the potato salad and people are fucking pissed.
  2. Better sourced meat than last week.
    People are fucking hovering and it's like Mortal Kombat near the grill. The alphas are way too chest puffy and everyone else is just eating tortilla chips; nervous and annoyed.
  3. Cans of fucking wine, people.
    Shit is fucking elevated this year.
  4. The dip situation is like something out of a @dfly list. Side-eye at the side-table realness.
  5. Some assholes shot-gunned beer one too many times and then moved on to shot-gunning wine.
    Everyone not wearing shorts is pissed.
  6. Someone just arrived with 3 crave cases to diffuse the burger standoff but now everyone looks confused.
    One person vomited; probably PTSD from a White Castle Valentine's Day joke that backfired.
  7. Fuck, and now there's a fistfight brewing by a dude in a "Kiss the Grillmaster" apron.
    Someone just yelled, "It's not to replace, it's to fucking augment the burger situation!"
  8. Everyone is just annoyed and anxious now.
  9. Tommy prematurely called the cops and now all eyez are on him.
    Seemed like the right call, but people are already heading to the cars. Such bullshit.
  10. Fuck this, we'll try again next weekend.