Tourists {v15.3.87.2}

  1. Still can't fix that fucking bug where they walk 4 abreast on a sidewalk, but at least they aren't holding hands.
    We may never fix this one. It's hard to debug the lack of self awareness. Trying though; we have 3 engineers and 2 psychologists working on this. The data is really ambiguous. So far it all leads back to stupidity.
  2. Can never disguise their fanny packs with irony convincingly. It's the eyes; the fear that lies within.
    That shit was Brooklyn 2008, so we don't know what the fuck you are doing rn, besides looking like a target. Better off with a backpack.
  3. Upon arrival, they now stand on street corner for 25 minutes trying to figure out how to install and use Uber.
    Even worse when international, and can't figure out how to use their data dongle.
  4. We just really wanted to say dongle.
  5. Slightly more polite! Now can at least say hello in the language of the land!
    But always ends up saying thank you in native tongue when exiting a boutique, if they even realize that's proper etiquette, and them slapping themselves for being so rude. Again, only if they have manners.
  6. They now have tipping calculators on their phones, which ensure a slightly lower tip than servers are used to.
  7. Reduction of matching outfits by 35%
    Pickpockets are so bummed about this one.
  8. Still order the wrong coffee.
    Every fucking time.