Trump/Pence Campaign {v1.0.6661}

Parity release notes for Hillary: Hillary Clinton {v3.14.101}
  1. Starting show some fucking cracks, man.
    I mean, it's just now starting to show to the world (yes, a world that's been waiting for it way too long) but its all Macgyver duct tape & bubble gum up in here and oh man, people are either stressed the F out or FUCKING LOVING their front-row seats to the end of the world. It's not their world, right? So many private Instagram accounts—we can't wait for the coffee table book, "Trump Jumps." Obviously waiting for the 'gram of Donny jumping off the Trump Tower, and then here we come, TASCHEN!
  2. $91.4M raised.
    From a lot of places but if we really wanted to look deep it would all go back to eating Poutine with Putin a couple years ago at that dope strip club in Montreal. Trump saw 3 exes that night, strangely, but they can't vote here so fuck them.
  3. Trying to keep that "practice" sex-tape of Trump and Pence re-enacting their first campaign logo from hitting the 'net.
    Lighting was terrible. But we got the best people on this. The hotshot liberal "creatives" in Hollywood owe us some favors and we are fucking calling them in. We got shit on everyone. We're going to make sex-tapes great again. It's been too long. Look for the directors cut where Putin makes a cameo and his dick splits into two so he can fuck both Trump and Pence at the same time while fisting a bald eagle. Working title is "Cumb-over."
  4. Sad!