FAV WAYS UBER DRIVERS HAVE GONE ABOVE AND BEYOND THE 5-STAR CALL OF DUTY

In the past 2 months.
  1. The 22 foot iPhone charger, waiting for me in the backseat--thus showing an understanding of the only reason I actually use uber.
  2. A trip through the Taco Bell drive thru
  3. A driver having his terrifically cute 6 year old son tag along in the front seat and watching him play with action figures, thus distracting you from the wedding you're running late for.
  4. The driver, saying the phrase "you like DMX?" And then playing It's Dark And Hell Is Hot. ON CD.
  5. An aux cord for me to play bangers, followed by the driver asking me to share a playlist with him on Spotify
  6. A driver, as soon as the ride is over, giving me his card, telling me "text me if you want a cheaper ride than this uber bullshit"
  7. An uberX that is a wagoneer.
  8. Highly irresponsible, unprofessional driver road rage, preferably on a busy highway, traffic-filled bridge, or while driving by a church.
  9. Any story about how Giuliani ruined everything
  10. Any commentary, shitting on drivers that are wholly dependent on GPS
  11. No gum or water, but those little boxes of assorted cereal as car snacks.
  12. Promising me that there's no traffic in the tunnel. AND THEN BEING RIGHT.
  13. Dropping me off and not asking me to rate him 5 stars, because they know they're getting 5 stars.
  14. An "I've been waiting here for 5 minutes, where are you" text by way of "we doin this, or no?"