WHAT I THINK WHEN SOMEONE ON A PLANE SNEEZES

  1. "Oh there's plenty of room for that to dissipate harmlessly."
  2. Hot zone. Goddamn it. Hot zone.
  3. "Bravo and good on you to cowboy up and make the flight, despite your obviously advanced infectious condition."
  4. "You terrible, terrible person who thinks nothing of others. I hope what you have makes you suffer, but isn't catching."
  5. I'm not infectious. I promise.