I wasn't the sharpest
  1. I asked my dad what prostitution means
    He said he'll tell me later. Still waiting.
  2. I got an extra mark by mistake on my Maths paper in 6th grade so I went and told my teacher, hoping she'd tell me to keep the extra mark for my honesty
    She corrected her mistake.
  3. A crow landed on my head and sat there for a second
    I screamed.
  4. My sister summarised the first book of Harry Potter for me and somehow I left that conversation with the impression that Snape was a mean student and Malfoy was a mean teacher
  5. I went to the store with my cousin once to buy ice-cream and she mentioned she's never been chased by dogs (strays)
    We got chased by dogs. It was the ice-cream, apparently.