1. Anything anyone tells you describing themselves is a lie
    Eg. "Im a straight shooter". Inevitably followed by the biggest load of bs in history
  2. The average person does about 90 minutes a day of actual work
  3. The average person who tells you how hard they've been working only does 45
  4. There are a lot of ghosts around
  5. And space aliens
  6. If you didn't grow up in Los Angeles you are barely human
  7. You should always order the duck
    Might be a disaster but might be the best meal you ever ate
  8. Grown ups shouldnt dress in costumes
  9. Viral comedy is a conspiracy