THINGS THAT HAD NO BUSINESS BEING INVENTED

Apart from the things that actually kill people like land mines and zyklon b
  1. Twitter
  2. Gingerbread latte
    What a fraud. Not at all like gingerbread. Just a spicy latte, which is a disgusting notion
  3. Dyson airblade
    I've never once gotten my hands remotely dry from these
  4. The phrase "baby bump"
    There's so many horrific usages in today's vernacular there's no reason really to single this one out. And yet and yet what a place the world would be if this one just went away
  5. Quinoa.
    Honestly, how long is this farce going to continue?
  6. Capital gains taxes
    Ha ha. Just kidding. I mean I'm not, but I wouldn't actually try to bring down millennial wonderland with a cold gust of economic common sense. So just forget this item ever happened
  7. Hey
    Used in place of "hi"
  8. Memes
    The delivery mechanism for the death of comedy
  9. Adverbs
    Advice to young writers: you're using too many adverbs. Go for a year using none to detox then maybe work a few back in
  10. Dress shirts made to be worn untucked
  11. Foursquare
    Hey everyone on the internet: here's where I am right this second. Come say hi! Or kill me!
  12. Airplanes
    I have personal issues here but yet to find anyone who could make a good case what business tons of steel has miles above the ground
  13. Middle names
    Always regretted. Our runner up names should be buried not preserved
  14. Post-modernism
    Things that are about themselves; isn't that fascinating? Waiter- check please!