THINGS THAT HAD NO BUSINESS BEING INVENTED
Apart from the things that actually kill people like land mines and zyklon b
- •Gingerbread latteWhat a fraud. Not at all like gingerbread. Just a spicy latte, which is a disgusting notion
- •Dyson airbladeI've never once gotten my hands remotely dry from these
- •The phrase "baby bump"There's so many horrific usages in today's vernacular there's no reason really to single this one out. And yet and yet what a place the world would be if this one just went away
- •Quinoa.Honestly, how long is this farce going to continue?
- •Capital gains taxesHa ha. Just kidding. I mean I'm not, but I wouldn't actually try to bring down millennial wonderland with a cold gust of economic common sense. So just forget this item ever happened
- •HeyUsed in place of "hi"
- •MemesThe delivery mechanism for the death of comedy
- •AdverbsAdvice to young writers: you're using too many adverbs. Go for a year using none to detox then maybe work a few back in
- •Dress shirts made to be worn untucked
- •FoursquareHey everyone on the internet: here's where I am right this second. Come say hi! Or kill me!
- •AirplanesI have personal issues here but yet to find anyone who could make a good case what business tons of steel has miles above the ground
- •Middle namesAlways regretted. Our runner up names should be buried not preserved
- •Post-modernismThings that are about themselves; isn't that fascinating? Waiter- check please!