Live-Listing Our Drive to Fort Worth

AKA: My descent into madness.
  1. We're picking up the kids from preschool right now. They just had lunch, so we're catching them right at naptime.
    Anyone want to place odds on whether one or both naps in the car?
  2. Google Maps says we have 185 miles to go and two hours and fifty minutes to get there.
  3. Revelation from a 4-year-old girl: This morning, I had [insert graphic bodily function here], so I'm going to try not to have too much sugar today.
  4. Memory from a 4-year-old boy: Last time we went to a hotel in Fort Worth, it had froot loops.
    Almost every long-term memory they have is based on food they've eaten at a given location. The froot loops in question were two years ago.
  5. "Oh look," says the boy child, "it's Chuck E. Cheese!"
  6. The chorus of, "It's taking for-evvvvvvvvah" has begun.
  7. The sweetest words I've ever heard: "Does anybody want to take a nap? I do!"
    Hell, yes, I do.
  8. Boy child: "Where do babies come from when they don't exist?"
    *record scratch*
  9. The baby question seems to be a metaphysical inquiry into how things begin to exist when nothing does.
    I can breathe again.
  10. "Hey, mom?" begins the girl child.
    "If we ever go to Mexico, I'm going to wear these bracelets and my Hello Kitty dress, and then I'll look like a Mexican girl." Duly noted, child.
  11. The girl child does not stop talking. Ever.
  12. Time for a potty break. Thanks to the girl child for determining this while we're in Waco.
  13. Back on the road, with the accompaniment of Skippyjon Jones.
  14. "Mama, can you pretend we're babies who ran away from our home?"
    "No."
  15. "Googoo gaga, googoo gaga..."
    "Stop, child."
  16. Meanwhile, the other one is generating fart noises and shooting sounds.
    Why didn't I pack a flask?
  17. Girl child: "Okay, we're going to play I Spy, but a different way. Everybody spread your legs."
  18. The first threat has been made.
    Followed by the first crying jag.
  19. Guess who fell asleep just as we got off the freeway.
  20. We survived!
    But we have to do it again on Monday.