Signs That I'm Hurtling Into Middle Age

  1. I don't get Snapchat.
    Ditto Tumblr.
  2. The students on my university campus don't mistake me for one of them anymore.
    No more invitations to parties thrown by student orgs.
  3. The other kids at my kids' preschool occasionally mistake me for the grandmother.
    Little jerks.
  4. I sometimes feel compelled to tell people, "When I was a kid, they dropped us off at Six Flags at opening and picked us up at closing, and we all survived!"
    So get off my lawn, you little whippersnapper.
  5. Kids I babysat are having kids of their own.
    I did not approve this!
  6. I extol the virtues of responsible retirement savings and long-term disability insurance to the young people I manage.
    "After you max out your Roth IRA..." "Zzzzzzz"
  7. I imagine that the nineties were six or seven years ago.
  8. But in my mind's eye, I'm 24