Someone needs to put the 2016 NFL draft in a cab, because it’s had enough. After another monster trade saw the Eagles move up to no. 2 and put a flamethrower to the top 10, we sift through the ashes to identify the winners and losers from the Philly-Cleveland deal. —Robert Mays
  1. Winner: Sashi Brown
    Thanks to this haul, 2017 will be the fourth draft in six years in which Cleveland has two first-round picks. That’s insane. Luck, chance, or a benevolent god should have produced a superstar with that many chances, but hasn’t. Now new executive VP of football operations Brown has an extra dice roll (or three) to get it right.
  2. Winner: Paxton Lynch
    This is the best thing that’s happened to Lynch since Robert Downey Jr. made Lynch’s facial-hair choices acceptable. With the Rams and Eagles trading up to take Jared Goff and Carson Wentz in some order, Lynch becomes the best available option for other teams desperate for a quarterback. He could be this year’s Ryan Tannehill.
  3. Winner: The Chargers
    San Diego is more or less on the clock now, and every player other than Goff or Wentz is available. Laremy Tunsil, Jalen Ramsey, whoever! Go nuts! GM Tom Telesco has to be sitting back and laughing as the rest of the draft falls all over itself.
  4. Losers: Sam Bradford and Chase Daniel
    Adam Schefter reported that Bradford is “hot” about the trade, and that’s fine, I guess. But Bradford — and his nearly $100 MILLION in career earnings — has been given every chance to prove he’s the guy. What about Daniel? When’s his chance? (Sincerely, Robert Mays, University of Missouri ’10.)
  5. Loser: The Jets
    With both top quarterbacks now claimed and Lynch’s value inflated, the Jets figure to be the team left standing in quarterback musical chairs. Ryan Fitzpatrick is doing his best Jack Donaghy impression, slowly peeling a nectarine as the Jets begrudgingly realize they're losing leverage.
  6. Loser: The Eagles
    If the guy the Rams don’t want turns into a star for Philly, the armada of picks Howie Roseman gave up in the Cleveland trade won’t matter. But that’s the problem: It’s a lot to give up for “the guy the Rams don’t want.”