Things I Don't Want To Forget ...

Our visits in the hospital seem rushed and interrupted, there are sweet details that I don't want to lose in this chaos:
  1. "Our visits are memorable and meaningful. The memories will never fade". She said this a few times this weekend, especially about her visits with both her sister & my sister. This makes my heart so happy.
  2. We talked about Annie , the little girl with Down Syndrome that she taught swim lessons to. The goal was getting Annie to blow bubbles underwater, not necessarily to "swim" but when Annie surprised everyone bouncing up & down under the water there were enough happy tears to fill the swimming pool! Small goals for the win!
  3. I told her the hardest part was not being able to hug her... or to be hugged by her ... so this time we held hands with gloves on. It was almost electric! Human touch IS medicine!
  4. She will always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me, she always has been...
    So why is it so strange to me when people say we look so much alike? This isn't something I don't want to forget, it's something I need to figure out. Wrong list...
  5. Cancer ( nor Chemo) hasn't taken away her ability or instinct to be my Mother. She still calls, texts, and knows when I need HER.
    And she is still there for me. When I thanked her for being so great at being everything I've ever needed she reassured me that not even Cancer can come between us. She's so amazing. I'm so lucky. She reminded me of what a great Mother I am to Morgan & how Morgan is now such a great Mom to Kenedi because of me. The cycle of life. We only get one shot, it's so important to do it right... at least with the kids anyway...
  6. "And now you're a TuTu"
    Reminding me how beautiful life is, how blessed I am
  7. We have something most don't ever get to experience, five generations, we should cherish it while we can. Hold on to it & know we were blessed. Our legacy will not be defined by tragedy, or this cancer but by longevity, love, and life to the fullest.
  8. A text she sent me almost 5 years ago. I found it by complete accident yesterday (an old Tumblr post). Like finding a golden ticket.
  9. She likes the ones that are more like hats, less like scarves. You know, the ones that when you see the ladies wearing them, you think " oh poor darlin', she has cancer" ( her words ) her sweet words.
  10. Her childhood friend called while I was there this weekend, so happy because her husband is finally able to be transported from Ohio to Mississippi. He went for a business trip two months ago, got sick and hasn't been able to return home. Doris has no idea my Mom has been in the hospital for 26 days, has no idea her friend of 50+ years has cancer
    My Mother is so selfless , so gracious. She doesn't want her friend to worry about her when she knows right now she just needs to be strong for her husband. I was in awe. I always am these days.
  11. She loves Peeps. I can't stand them.
  12. So she never feels alone.
  13. It's been a month, I'm still broken to the core. I cry less but the pain is unreal. The questions , Dear God, I'm sorry for all of the questions...
  14. My sister is ALWAYS the comedic relief. Even now, when we can't find much to laugh at, she finds the funny for all of us. I wish I could be more like her... sometimes...
  15. Rickie Fowler is a really cool dude , I hope he does well at Augusta next week!