HOW MY SELF-IMAGE CHANGES AT VARIOUS LOCATIONS
Self-image is a fickle thing, am I right, ladiezzz?
- •Walmart"I am the most put-together, high-class lady on God's green earth."
- •Trying on bridesmaid dresses at David's Bridal"I am a lumpy, rectangular MONSTER!! Why have I ever shown my face in public? From now on, I will subsist on nothing but lemon water and sunlight!"
- •The science/engineering building at my university"All left-brained peasants bow down to me, for I am Art embodied."
- •Bureaucratic governmenty places like the DMV"I am a shy little kitten and I know nothing of the world. Someone please take me in and teach me how to renew my license!"
- •Walking home to my cat and computer past all the bars on Division street on a Saturday night"I'm going to be alone forever and also I'm scared and also I wish that bouncer would stop looking at me and also did I mention I'm scared"
- •The airport (when traveling alone)"I am a perfect sunbeam of organization and efficiency!"
- •The airport (when traveling with others)"I'm a sweaty glob of pond scum and Martha Stewart would be so disappointed in me!"
- •Family events that require heels"Time to return to the NBA where I belong."