I am cool.
  1. 7:30 - Order a pizza to be delivered to me at 9:00 so I will motivated throughout tonight's jog by the knowledge that delicious pizza is on its way
  2. 7:35 - Go on jog
  3. 8:30 - Check mail to avoid sharing an elevator in my schvitzy state and find a coupon for free cheesy bread from the pizza place I just used!! I could have had free cheesy bread! 👿
  4. 8:40 - Get in the shower, still grumpy about how I missed out on free cheesy bread
  5. 8:51 - Pizza man buzzes up while I am still in the shower. I freak out, rinse my hair off as fast as I can
  6. 8:51 and 30 seconds - I try to pull on a pair of leggings but this proves difficult as my legs are still wet
  7. 8:51 and 45 seconds - I run into my bedroom, sopping wet hair dripping all over the place, and throw in a pair of men's sweatpants from the dirty clothes pile on the floor
  8. 8:52 - I throw on a cat hair-covered sweatshirt and squeeze some water out of my hair to complete the ✨look✨
  9. 8:52 and 30 seconds - The pizza man knocks on my door and my cat freaks out and runs to the door to defend my honor
  10. 8:52 and 45 seconds - I (gently!) grab Mr. Fuzzy and close him in the bedroom for a moment
  11. 8:53 - I open the door dripping wet and, like, out of breath, to see that the pizza man is a CUTE GUY AROUND MY AGE
    Which never happens!!
  12. 8:53 and 10 seconds - I say a quick thank you to the Pizza Gods that I already tipped online so this interaction doesn't have to last any longer
  13. 8:53 and 15 seconds - I close the door and let Mr. Fuzzy out of the bedroom
  14. 8:54 - I shotgun the pizza, Liz Lemon style
  15. 10:30
  16. FINI