UNNECESSARY RULES I FORCE MYSELF TO LIVE BY

Whyyyy
  1. Always use self-checkout when buying period stuff!
    Why am I trying to hide that I get a period?? I am just your average uterus-haver. I need to buck up and proudly bring my U by Kotex items to the regular checkout like a strong and powerful woman.
  2. When popping to the corner store for junk food, must also buy something nutritious so the cashier doesn't think you're a slob!
    Why do I care so much about what cashiers think of me?? Also, getting frozen pizza or Talenti gelato or those TGI Friday's mozzarella sticks I love so much every now and then doesn't make me a slob. It's just food. Ugh.
  3. Never spend too long in any section of a store just in case a salesperson thinks you need help!
    All I need to say is "no thanks, I'm good" and then I can smell all the perfumes at Sephora in peace! Why is this so hard?
  4. No reading a fun new book until you finish the less-fun book that's been taking you forever!
    I still haven't read Yes Please because I've been trying to slog through Blindness by José Saramago (which is pretty good but dense and definitely not Amy Poehler). Life is too short for this nonsense!