UNORIGINAL THINGS PEOPLE SAY AS IF THEY THOUGHT OF THEM FIRST

πŸ’πŸ»πŸ’πŸ»πŸ’πŸ»
  1. β€’
    "I married my best friend."
  2. β€’
    "We call her __________ because she couldn't pronounce her name when she was little."
  3. β€’
    "I'm not short, I'm fun-sized."
  4. β€’
    "Saturday Night Live just isn't funny anymore."
  5. β€’
    "I'm staying in with my two boyfriends: Ben and Jerry!!"
  6. β€’
    "Here! Watch this, I can get (dog's name) to sit....Siiiiiit. Siiiiit. SIT!"
    Suggested by Β  @brittscott
  7. β€’
    "The books were SO much better than the movies"
    Suggested by Β  @lesbian
  8. β€’
    "I'm not racist or sexist, I hate everyone equally"
    πŸ˜’
    Suggested by Β  @feminist
  9. β€’
    Pronouncing Target as "Tar-jay"
    Suggested by Β  @bwyatt
  10. β€’
    When a barcode doesn't scan: "It must be free!"
    Suggested by Β  @SheStoodAkimbo
  11. β€’
    "Don't you talk like that in front of them" and covering their pet's ears
    Suggested by Β  @destiel
  12. β€’
    "I know you said you don't like cats, but my cat's not like other cat's..."
    Suggested by Β  @migmags
  13. β€’
    "I'm not racist, I have a black friend/work with black people."
    Suggested by Β  @twisty
  14. β€’
    Every January 1st: "I remember [the previous year] like it was yesterday!"
    Suggested by Β  @storiesandariabis
  15. β€’
    "I'm moving to Canada if trump becomes president!!"
    Suggested by Β  @smurf
  16. β€’
    "oh no we didn't like our food at all!!" *pushes empty plate at waiter
    Suggested by Β  @katelms