HOW I LEARNED _______ WAS FAKE 📂

#draftmas
  1. Tooth fairy
    I woke up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night when I was maybe 6 or 7, and I hadn't fallen back asleep before my dad switched out the tooth for that pesky dollar bill 😢
  2. Astrology
    Now I still read my horoscope monthly and enjoy being "conversational" in astrology, but the tipping point for me was when I was supposed to have "great things for my career" happening in January 17, 2014. Turns out I got rejected from a medical school that day 😐
  3. My personal gluten intolerance (and therefore most cases of gluten intolerance)
    I was doing a 30 day paleo challenge (ugh I knowwwwww), and I got offered part of a breakfast cookie at the start of work. I ate it because it was 6 am and I was not thinking clearly. Once I swallowed the bite, my stomach immediately started hurting, and the pain lasted about 10 minutes until I saw the cookie ingredients were almond flour, egg, and cranberries 🙄
  4. Reality television
    My uncle's friend used to drive a trailer across the country hauling that sports car Guy Fieri pretends to drive in his garbage TV show 😶
  5. Zedd and Selena's relationship
    Preface: I love Zedd soooooo much. The Zeddlena song is my jam, but I realized that they faked their relationship for record sales after I saw Zedd is basically nonverbal. Also Selena and Justin are straight up each other's lobsters 🦀🦀 (close enough)