HOW I CONQUERED MY 21-YEAR BATTLE WITH INSOMNIA

I worked overnights baking bagels beginning in 1993 for 7 years while attending college and grad school. This fucked up my ability to pass out before 3-6 AM for more than 21 years until exactly a year ago, no matter how little sleep I got or how tired I was.
  1. Spoon a gal (if there's one in my bed) and hold her breast in my hand. Works like a champ every time. Not kidding, boobs work.
  2. Avoid movies before bed. Makes my mind race.
  3. Earplugs and any precaution to block out noise. Close doors/windows/etc.
  4. Lay down, close my eyes and think of things that make me happy. This seriously helps me pass out.
  5. Close my eyes and pretend i am standing in a pitch black room with my eyes open. Weird I know ... Also helps me pass out.
  6. Sleep in my own bed ... Tempurpedic.
  7. Easier said than done, but don't work anywhere near bedtime. Do lots of fun and relaxing or social stuff before bed. Things that make you happy. I've discovered this sort of empties my mind, or at least suppresses the negative or stressful stuff for the night.
  8. Organize my apt. And get everything ready for my morning so I can sleep later. Basically any preventative measure to alleviate stress or things on your brain.
  9. Avoid sleeping meds.
  10. Tea with honey. Hot tea makes me sleepy before any caffeine kicks in to sprack me out.
  11. Listen to classical music on low volume.
  12. Don't shower before bed. It wakes me up.