TOP THINGS STRANGERS SAY TO ME REGARDING MY PHYSICAL APPEARANCE/LIFESTYLE. AND SOME CLARIFICATION.
- •"Do you have a nosejob?" No, but since so many people ask perhaps I should sell molds of it to plastic surgeons across America and get rich.
- •"Do you play basketball?" Why, because I'm tall? I dunno, do you ask fat people if sumo wrestle? Do you ask short people if they jockey racehorses?
- •"Are you gay?" No, I'm just better at communicating with females than you are ...
- •"Why are you so pissed off?" I'm not, this is just my face. I can't control it. I was born this way. Kinda like my nose. Some people refer to it as "resting bitch face." If I were to walk around forcing a smile I'd look way worse.
- •"Do you snowboard or surf?" No, just because I have spent my life skateboarding and because they consist of riding a "board" doesn't mean I do those things. It may seem similar to you but that's because you know nothing about it.
- •"So you are a writer ... Like, poems?" For some reason everyone goes to poetry first on this one. No. I don't write poetry.
- •"Do you know Tony Hawk?" Yes, he is one of my bosses.