I have a degree in linguistics, so I'm actually somewhat serious.
  1. Esperanto
    Static
    Okay, so this is the practical answer since this one once had a legitimate place in the real world.
  2. Newspeak
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    It just seems like a fun language, ya know?
  3. Dothraki
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    Move over Dany, I'm the Queen now.
  4. Elvish
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    Which I would promptly and masterfully use to get Legolas in my bed.
  5. Klingon
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    Think about all of the power I could muster with those guttural sounds.